P-A-G-E-A-N-T-R-Y

I would be amiss if I didn't share these last 8 months of this unexpected adventure with you. The easiest way I can manage to express myself would be through the acronym using the word PAGEANTRY. But first, let me tell you how all this came to be. I met Kim, the current Mrs. United States All World Beauties, last July at one of my Mystery Hostess Shows that I held. Kim is the mother of my youngest son's best friend. Learning of her title, I was awed to be so close to a title holder of such stature. She and I began having conversation about this pageant system, and I found myself being encouraged by her, hearing her say,  "give it a try". I kind of chuckled and went on my way. I couldn't stop thinking about the "what if's". Then the "whys" came, then I found myself answering back. September I found myself filling out the application to enter into a world I knew nothing about. But something I did know? I want to teach and inspire women of all ages and all walks of life, that they too can be and do ANYTHING they want using all opportunities and resources to do so.  And how can I continue to teach it, unless I continue to take risks such as this!! So I began my journey into pageantry.

Prayer~Hands down, this entry into pageantry would not have occurred without prayer. My deepest thoughts and desires are shared with God daily and I do not go into anything without going to Him first. I felt His prodding through my prayers to Him. I asked Him how this would glorify Him? I asked Him if other women could be inspired through my experience? And I asked Him if this was His will? I heard that quiet, gentle voice that said yes.

Attitude~A person with a good attitude looks at everything in a positive way, giving everyone the benefit of a doubt, always in a good mood, that smiles a lot. They are a joy to be around. A bad attitude usually means the person is negative, a downer, everything's bad, nothing is going to turn out good, someone you do not want to be around. Attitude can make you or break you. It's up to you, or me as in this case. I always look at the glass as "half full" and my favorite word in the English language is NEXT. No use sulking about it. Just keep moving on!

Giving~If you know me, you know that I am a giver. In fact, I am a cheerful giver. I love to give of my time, my resources, and even my things. Of all that I give, giving of my time is the most rewarding. Whether it's to walk/run a5k for a worthy cause, or to volunteer behind a table, or to judge a Halloween event's costumes, or to feed the homeless, there is great blessing when we are blessing others. But there is a time that I cherish the most and that is giving of time having coffee with friends, one on one. I love to hear what's going on in their worlds, their successes, their problems, and just listen and share in thoughts. I have no idea how God will work in those times, but I know He does. And I am ever grateful that He's using me to help another!

Encouragement~Blessed to be a Blessing, by a word of praise, a touch of support or a handwritten note. All of these and more help others to feel significant and worthy. The gift of encouragement has been bestowed upon me from my creator and I would be a fool not to open it up and use. There's no greater joy than to see that an act of encouragement can bring another person hope, acceptance, and life. New life. As if I could see that life come alive in others as a result of saying, "I knew you could do it", or "Atta girl". It's just as wonderful receiving encouragement. I have been so encouraged through this process. Others continued to believe in me when sometimes it was difficult to believe in myself.  My husband and our 3 children have been so encouraging. When self-doubt would creep in, I would always hear the words, "Mom, you can do this". I am ever grateful for all who continue to encourage me through prayer, notes, gentle words, a hug, or just a simple smile. Thank you!

Appearances~One of the key factors in holding a title is making appearances. This not only promoted my charities of choice and my platform, but also exposed this pageant system, All World Beauties, a fairly new system in the world of pageantry. Appearances are so much fun!!!! To be included and involved in such wonderful events allows you to see the "Bigger Picture" in the world. Through my appearances I have been priveleged to meet some outstanding organizations and people. Such as; Dress for Success, Grace Med, Cash Mob, Rick Santorum, American Heart Association, Susan G. Komen, John Whitmer, Children's Miracle Network, the Mayor of Wichita-Carl Brewer, School of Rock, Wichita Choral Society, and KAKE TV. I absolutely  love giving to my community with my resources and time. It is so true that we are blessed to be a blessing.

Nourished~There is no doubt that my soul has been nourished through this experience. Because I pray a lot, this experience has strengthened my faith and gotten me in the Word even more. I am ever grateful for the faith I have. Had it not been for this faith, I would not have had the courage to step out of my comfort zone. This experience not only makes me vulnerable to others, but also to myself. And when we're vulnerable, those glaring defects seem to rise to the surface and need to be addressed immediately. We all have them. No getting away from that fact. It's what we do with those defects when we see them that matters. We have a choice to ignore them or to face them head on making the necessary changes. I will never graduate from life! But I can strive to continue to be better every day.

Tiaras~The tiaras and crowns are beautiful. Wearing them, are fun. I believe, that in every girl, young and old, there is a "princess" inside of us. Some will deny it, others will embrace it. Why did we play "dress-up" when we were little girls? We still do!!!! Going shopping and trying on clothes, trying on the latest fashion accessories, (which should be Premier Designs!!!), and looking in the mirror. It's fun!!!! It's joyful!!! And it's affirming of that little girl within us. Having said all of this, I must say that for me personally, this experience is NOT about the crown. The crown is a representation of the distinguished title that is held. It is symbolic of the responsibilities that come with holding a title. It is meant to be worn with integrity and respect. And meant to be worn with humility, honor and pride. It is an honor I hold in high esteem and that I take very seriously,.

Risk~"Being willing to take a risk is an ESSENTIAL element to innovation, creativity and entrepreneurship. Risk requires guts, passion, and the willingness to fail and try again." I had no idea how this risk would and will turn out when I said yes to this opportunity. Because of my passion for life, I was willing to take this risk to learn, to grow, to experience. I absolutely love life, and I'm willing to get out of my box and take risks such as, compete in a pageant. My attitude is, "I'm already a winner" BECAUSE I did take this risk. With the support and acceptance of my family, I have been able to continue to move forward. The excitement and enthusiasm overrides any fear to risk!

Yourself~BE YOURSELF!!! Well it's a good thing I don't know how to be anyone else!! As women, many times we tend to compare our insides with others outsides. Comparing how we feel with how they look. Feelings of inadequacy would surface, feelings of insecurities would grow, and then we become emotional wrecks, doubting ourselves. And then we'd quit. My lessons have brought me to the place of self acceptance as I am today. To accept ALL of me, where I am now, has enabled me to encourage genuinely, sincerely, and get excited for others, without any threat of self-doubt. As I mentioned in the opening paragraph, my passion is to teach and inspire women to be all that they can be, learning to accept themselves as they are, believing that they too have self-worth with a purpose!

I have had such an amazing experience as Mrs. Wichita, then Mrs. Kansas. I don't know how the National Pageant will turn out, and quite frankly, my focus is on the journey itself, not the destination. What I do know is when I step out on that stage, I am representing the wonderful state of Kansas and all those that believe in me. Everything that I have done to prepare me for this event have been life changing. Pageantry is certainly the best "text" book in any classroom that I have studied.

Thank you to Gary, my husband who has stood with me through this adventure that neither one of us imagined. My kids, Michael, Christopher and Alicia. Your belief in me has kept me going when I wasn't sure I could do it. My sponsors have been incredibly generous: Top Master Inc., Dress Barn, Platinum Hair Salon, Sunny Lane Cleaning Service, Iseman Photography, Shotwell Photography, Foggy Bottom, Beyond the Window, Realty World, Wichita State University's costume shop, Fred Shanks, Jan Utter, Deb Reinink, and many more, Thank you!

Where were you??

It was May 23rd, 1997. I remember it was a Friday. The day began as it always did, hectic. I was 7 months pregnant with Christopher, working at Farmers Insurance Claims office. I'd get up first, get showered and ready for work. Then I'd get my toddler Michael up, get him dressed. We were then ready to go to his Aunt Janet's house.  Hugs and kisses would be exchanged and off I'd go, back to the other side of town for work.
It was a typical day, full of paper work and wrecked cars to come in to the garage for estimates. It was no day different than others. My pregnancy was going very well, and I was big. Waddling already at 7 months, I found myself relying on my coworker Lucy a lot. It was hard to continually get up and down. I lived so close to work I would always eat lunch at the house. The week prior my parents bought a new refridgerator from Gary. (he worked part time) I knew they had errands to run on this particular Friday, one of them being a check up at the doctor for mom and to go grocery shopping. I remember calling them while on my lunch hour and the stupid answering machine went on. "Dad probably took her to lunch", I thought, as he does that a lot. I continued calling their house and always got the machine. My day ended at 4:30. At 4:20 I tried one more time. BINGO!  Mom answered the phone. She was putting her groceries away in her new fridge!! Said they shopped for 2 1/2 hours. Mom said she wasn't feeling very good. She felt dizzy. I told her to go and rest, but no, she wanted to get those groceries put away. Sounds just like her. We said our goodbyes, always ending with "I love you Mom", and I told her I would call later and check up on her.Later, at the hospital, I would learn what happened within 2 hours after I spoke to mother for the last time. She and my dad sat on the edge of the bed at their home sharing about a vacation in the future to Oregon, how much she loved my brother and I, and how much she loved my dad. She complained that the room was bright. Dad closed the shade. Still bright she said, turned off the tv. Still bright. Getting up to get a glass of water, my dad asked if mom wanted anything. She said no, and fell back on the bed, in what appeared to be a resting position. Dad came back in the room, and mom was not responding. When paramedics arrived it was code blue, code red, code blue, code red. Arriving to ER, I'll always remember what I saw. I remember where I was that May 23rd. At 8:00 pm my mother was pronounced dead.Fifteen years ago today, was that day. The day I lost my strongest encourager. The day I lost my biggest defender. The day I lost my mom. May is a very difficult month for me. Mother's Day, the anniversary of her death, her birthday is May 26th, Memorial weekend, and May 29th her funeral. But I also love the month of May. Birds singing, temps rising, weddings, graduations, the smell of fresh cut grass, and the colorful flowers.  I am encouraged to know that when I worship God, mom is too!  When I am giving Him all the praise, mom is too! When I give God all the glory, mom is too! When Iam living life to its fullest, she's living hers too, in heaven. When I'm walking with Jesus, mom is too! One day, I'll not only bow down to God, I'll be reunited with my mom.If your mother is still with you, won't you write her a note, give her a call, take her to lunch, watch Wheel of Fortune with her, go shopping with her, ask advice from her, hug her, and always tell her you love and appreciate her. If there is resentment between you and your mom, FIX IT!!! Forgive her and know she did the BEST she knew how in raising you. I'm so glad mom and I had that opportunity when I was 30, to forgive and move on. The only time it's ever too late, is when she is no longer here.WOW, 15 years seems like a long time, but feels like it just happened yesterday. My mom was spared the evils of this world and denied the privilege of aging.I remember where I was that May 23rd, 1997. Do you?

SHE was the one.......

She was the one I could always count on for encouragement, acceptance, defending, loving, laughing, and so much more. She was the one I could never lie to because she always knew when I was . She was the one that spanked me the most. Then always said, "this is hurting me more than it's hurting you". She was the one that stayed up waiting for me to come home. Yep, I certainly couldn't get away with much! She was the one who wouldn't allow me to have my ears pierced. She set high standards for me! She was the one that loved me so much, she drove me every night to ballet classes, sewed my costumes, hung out until my rehearsals were over, which at times was very late. She was the one that cried with me when I was bullied. She was the one that told me "there's more than one fish in the ocean". She was the one that had the melt down at my wedding. She was the one that drove me to the emergency room when I jumped in front of a fire hydrant that was opened. She was the one that put me on an airplane when I was 21 to move to New York. She was the one that made sure I had flowers delivered to the house for EVERY performance I did, and she NEVER missed one! She was the one that sold REAL jewelry at Zales. She was the one who adored her family. She was the one who put her faith and trust in God and eloped with my dad when she was 17. AND crossed several state lines after they were married. She was the one who survived breast cancer for 34 years. She was the one who got her diabetes under control. She was the one with a huge heart. A giving heart. A loving heart. And a heart that was so big. And finally, it would be heart disease that took her away from me, too soon~For those that knew her well, knew her to be fun, friendly, hospitable, warm and welcoming. But what you may not have known is that mom, had many battles to fight. As a young adult she was diagnosed with epilepsy, survived breast cancer, which she had at age 25, developed diabetes in her 30's, high blood pressure in her 40's and congestive heart failure in her 50's. Three years were added to her life when a quad by-pass and an aortic valve replacement took place when she was 54. I spent a lot of time with her in those 3 years. I'm so grateful I moved home in 1989. I will never forget that May 23rd in 1997. Gary and I arrived at Wesley Medical Center's ER at the same time as my dad. We saw the ambulance arrive without the sirens. I watched the medics as they removed the gurney with mom on it, out of the ambulance. There she was. The one that made my heart sing. There she was. The one that always made me feel worthy. There she was. Lifeless. Silent. Gone. And there I was. "Mom?" "Mom?" There she was. unresponsive. There she was. After all protocol was exhausted, her breathing slowed, as Gary and Tim ushered her to heaven gently stroking her hands and whispering loving words. There she was. My mom. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for giving me my mom. She taught me how to be a mom. And now I have 2 wonderful sons and I hear them say "She's the one". Happy Mother's Day Mom   ~  I love you

Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

I did something today that I have never done before. I walked a 5k for the American Heart Association in memory of you. That's 3.2 miles. I did it in 55 minutes. I don't know if that's a good time or not because I've never done it. Every time I wanted to stop, or want to divert the path, I would look down at my tribute on my shirt where it said, "I'm walking in memory of.......MY MOM, Maureen Sutton", I would remember the time you had your surgery of 4 bypasses and your valve replaced. Or I would remember when you'd have such tremendous swelling. Or when you couldn't breathe very well. Or when you were so tired. Those thoughts encouraged me to continue.

Why didn't I do this when you were alive? Why is it that I waited until you were "gone" that I developed a passion to wipe heart disease away? Is it because getting involved would have made me see the reality of your condition and that would have scared me? Maybe it would have taken time away from you. Times that were so precious to me. I don't know.

I miss you mom!!!! I miss your voice, I miss your encouragement, I miss your laughter, I miss your praise, and I miss the times we would just goof around and go shopping or to lunch, or to get our nails done. Or just talk on the phone for hours. Stuff that mothers and daughters do.

I walked this 5K with you on my mind and in my heart. 57 is too too young to die. And I follow that with how grateful I am you're in the biggest sanctuary of all.

Mom, there were some incredible people there on my team that never met you, but probably feel they know you because I talk about you. Patti encouraged me to keep walking, Rebecca had to put her horse down today, and Jen and Clare had to run to their boys baseball game right when we were done. And because these folks love to run/walk and want to see an end to heart disease, they showed up.

Mom, we did it!!!!!!! I DID IT!!!! I finished today. I didn't quit. Because you taught me to keep moving forward no matter what.

I love you Mom!!!

Touched by a bagel

It was so cold last night. As I looked out the window into the dark, I couldn't help but pray for outside animals and the homeless. I prayed that there would be warm shelter for them both. Today, God provided an opportunity for me to be His hands and feet to a homeless man on the downtown streets of Wichita. Sitting in Mead's Corner with a friend, I noticed a man with head phones on pacing back and forth. When I looked again, he was rummaging through the trash can and eating from what little bits he could find. Feeling led, I bought some food and a glass of water and walked down the street to see him rummaging through another trash can. Approaching this man I wasn't nervous, I wasn't scared and I was not embarrassed.  He took the head phones off, and just looked at me. I extended the bag of food and water and told him it was food for him. He sheepishly took it, while his hands were swollen from the cold, his nose was running and his eyes were slanted and looked tired. I couldn't help but feel the Lord's spirit with me and in me. I had a difficult time holding the tears back as I shared my encounter with my girlfriend as I returned to Mead's. It doesn't matter how this man got to the point of homelessness. The point is, he is without a home, without a dollar, without a loved one. Some people scold the homeless, others have pity and move on. But true compassion, true mercy are rare attributes to have. It is so easy to judge, to pity, to look the other way and pretend you don't see it. The truth is, HOMELESSNESS IS A REALITY!

Before I began writing this note, I turned to scripture, and no kidding.....this is the verse I turned to.......

Proverbs 14:31    "He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker,
                              but whoever is kind to the needy honors God."

To be one of God's servants is the absolute BEST job I will ever have.